The triumphant Return

Well... Someone had to have the idea.... lets go back and look at that lane again... you know the one, its where we spent hours stuck last night.

Saturday morning, we arrive at the top of the downs and find a couple of vehicles waiting for us there. One landie driven by Simon, who we had met briefly the day before, and a strange looking VW 4wd transporter. Looked strange but boy does that thing perform.

So Brett arrived in his defender and we all trotted off to do the starting lane at Tom's Hill. This turned out to be a very short, though mildly interesting uphill trundle that was really only a quick starter. To improve things a little we suggested heading over to Steppingly in Bedfordshire. A longer lane that should be quite clear and pleasant. Thus we trundled on... our little convoy. I had brought a few walkie talkies with me, in case they turned out to be needed. It was a good move, sometimes we could actually hear wahat someone else was saying. Most of the time though, the person doing the speaking could not be sure whether his message had been heard or not. CB Next time!

So we headed up this lane: you can seel below that it was a really great day... good weather two insane dogs running around (Simon's companions for the day!) and even a few kids on occasion. The signs were good... this was going to be a great and relaxing occasion.

Our friends suggested that we go over to Biggleswade/Ashwell direction where a great many lanes remain open all year round. Thus we saddled up and rode on out.

You may be forgiven for thiking that perhaps... under the circumstances, having got stuck the night before, we should have thought this through a little bit. Maybe walked the route first. But no... we go heading off down there. And this is where the fun really kicked off.

This part of the country has a very specific type of earth. It is very sticky, seems to be clay based, and almost gravitates toward any passing metalic object. Once attached it doesn't want to come off... in fact I snapped a few branches trying to remove a clump of mud from the outside of the wheel. Some say this substance is the product of thousands of years of evolution and nature developing the ideal environment for the area. Personally I think it's a bi-product of Satan's arsehole mixed with a liberal helping of superglue.

With all the crap on this tyre... there's no way he's got any traction to pull anyone else out of the muck! It' not easy to make out here, but this mud is protruding about 12 to 16 inched out from the tyre! Luckily the ground seems quite firm....

Wait a minute...

What's going on up there...?

This would be our super hero VW, giving a helping hand to the poor landie stuck in the mud

We tried everything to get the motor to move... I mean I am only a beginner... and the others kept telling me :

"Oh no we've had much nastier stickiness than this, once we even had to airlift the buggers out!"

well maybe a slight exaggeration going on there but you get the idea! It wasn't that it looked bad... it didn't look bad at all... it was just...stuck.

Even trying to move the landie backwards had no effect. Bugger... what next then?

Eventually, of course, the landie came free and thanks to the experience of the others it made headway.

Now its my turn... Brett gives me advice on driving through mud like this.. the others try to find a good route through.

Rose looks and decides wherther she is staying in the car for this part of the trip ot whether some else's car looks more promising! And they said there's no family loyalty left in the world!

Its time...

"Once you're moving just don't stop for anything!", came some really good advice.

Yo know what? I got through.. I really did. No one was more surprised than I was I can tell ya!

We made it through this lane but on route met a bunch of local guys running the other way. We told them what lay ahead and they decided to turn around and go back the way they had come... which was, by all accounts, a lot easier. We decided to hook up with them and do a few local lanes together. This seemed like a good idea, but may not have been - they like to drive quite quickly - unlike our sedate preferred 50 mph. And, it turns out, they had another lane in mind that could turn out to be... interesting.

Rose actually got out of the car and walked with Luke as I tried to get out of this one. I had to be towed out of course... but this was only my second failure of the day!

Of course the day ended well, and the car certainly needed a slight clean when we got home. But this was a successful and fun day with some really good people.

And so we continue our journey... onward and upward toward the tarmac of life... but remember ... getting out of the sh1t once doesn't mean there ain't a whole lot more in front!

More Later

How the mighty Fall!

So, following the day of fun we had last week, we decided to meet up with the same chap and do a few more lanes. This time though we were going to find them ourselves and make sure that they were open and available for us to drive down. Started at Ashridge, covered Berkhamstead (not much there) and then decided to move up toward Biggleswade.

We were actually going to Ashwell, the lanes at Hitchin were closed and we found a couple at Ashwell that merited checking out. By now we had been going a lot of the day and had found a few but not really enough to keep us all going for the day on Saturday. Pulled off the A1 and promptly missed the turning to Ashwell so I drove for a while looking for somewhere convenient to turn around. Out of the blue we spotted a sign "BYWAY". The magic word that we had been hunting for all day... and look, no restriction!

We took one look. It looked OK. Very lush and green but the ground seemed firm enough to take the weight of our trusty shogun and anyway... shogun's don't get stuck right? Yeah right.

There are six of us in the car, Myself, Rose (my wife), Saff (14), Kai (8), Luke (5) and Jas (15 months). Rose takes a look at the track and listens to my reasons for backing out and waiting for the next day when we had a few more cars along.

"Go for it.." she says confidently, "Looks alright, no worse than we've done earlier."

So I go for it.

Now if you've never done one of these lanes you won't realise just how stupid this move could be. The nice firm ground swiftly gives way to softer ground which has been rutted by previous visitors. 18 inch grooves run in the ground and refuse to allow the car to drive out of them, all you can do is go with the flow and hope that you find somewhere to turn around before the mud (which feels a little like super glue) grabs your wheels and holds on tight.

Well grab it it did, and with the light failing rapidly I found I couldn't go further forward. I got out of the car to take a look around and found a bloody great ditch perilously close to the passenger side of the vehicle. OK, so I slipped it into reverse, Extra low 4wd engaged and reversed out of the crap I had landed myself in. 3 point turn executed with perfect precision and strated back the way I had come.

Now its a funny thing because you would think that having driven down the track; going back would not be a problem. Not so. As I approached the stickiest, deepest ruts yet... Rose pointred out that on the way down I had stuck to the drier ground on the right. Too late... the car stopped. That's to say the forward motion stopped but the wheels continued to spin furiously, trying desperately to gain some traction but digging us deper into the mud.

OK. I know what to do, gather some of the brush which lined the track and put it under the wheels, hey presto extra traction. Out of the car we got, Rose and me. Instant glue shoes, my boots gathered another 15 lbs of mud and I sunk right up to my ankles. Rose followed and she did exactly the same.. and then I called on Saff to give us a hand.

Now, if I asked you what you considered the ideal footwear for this sort of outing, you may suggest stout boots (like I wore), good trainers (like Rose wore), but you would hopefully never suggest bare feet with jelly shoes...( like saff wore). They lasted three steps and became a permanent part of the track. In a few hundred years' time, some archaeologist is going to dig them up and try to fathom how the hell they got there.

Anyway, we failed in our attempts miserably. We were stuck fast with no back up plan for getting out.

When all else fails, it's time to swallow your pride and call in the cavalry. In our case that meant Brett, our friend from the previous week.

He was stuck on the M1 but as soon as he got home de came dashing to our aid. Thank god for Sat Nav. At least I could tell him where we were.

So we sat tight for three hours. Brett turns up and has us loose in about 5 minutes flat!

It was great... finalloy we were moving again, making headway toward the exit, the children breathed a sigh of relief, Luke was almost tasting his Macdonalds, even Rose allowed herself a smile of relief. And then it happened again!

Following the landie out of the mire, we got stuck in the same ruts it had just gone through, and getting us out this time was a little tougher!

Fifteem minutes and we were back on the road, covered in mud, but ready to go home!

When I find out how, I'll upload some photos, but for this beginner here this was a wake up call. If it hadn't been for Brett coming to our rescue we'd have been spending the night! (well maybe not quite)

That's about it for now.. except to say... we're going back to the same one tomorrow. Hopefully to find out where I made the mistakes and cruise through without any problem. I'll keep you up to date on the progress.

Cheers

C

ok so we try it out

The most important thing for a young baby is sleep, as any responsible mother will tell you. I don't mean sleep for the baby, I mean sleep for the parents! Saturday morning is no different. After a little too much sauce the night before, trying to drag my self out of bed on a saturday morning at the crack of dawn, (8 am is early by anyone's standards on a Saturday!), well it was no joke I can tell you.

Trying to persuade Kai that he needed to be dressed wasn't really a problem, I am not convinced he actually undressed before going to bed last night, and his younger brother Luke seems to have an unfailing ability to avoid getting dressed until the last possible moment.

The worst of the lot though, on this occasion, was Rose. (And she's gonna slap me when she reads this, but it is true!) Trying to pursuade Rose and Jasmine out of bed was an ordeal in its own right.

Anyhow... to cut an epic story to the length of a short novel...

We had arrfanged to meet a fella at the car park of Jansell House in Stopsley. Every one knows this place, its one of those buildings that seems to have survived since time immemorial. And it used to house the VATMAN!!!!

A quick look at the map, being careful to make it look as though I know what I'm doing, and we're all off.

Now, the first of these little lanes was just that, a simple little track that gently wound its way past a farmhouse and down past Putteridgebury College. Ending up at Lilley Bottom, where it crossed the road and continued toward Offley. This second section was a little more laney than the first, narrow in places and bouncing the car just enough to have the boys shouting in glee and Saffron, our 14 year old resident expert on everything in the world living or dead, (don't worry I'm told they know nothing by the time they reach 20), straining to avoid weeing on the back seat and contaminating the packed lunch... At least I am assuming she succeeded, maybe that's why we felt a little ill today... anyway best not go there!

The second of our lanes was in Lilley. Now you gotta admit its a strange thing whena cyclist, who does not wish to encounter a motor vehicle, goes out of his way to use one of the very few lanes in the area that welcomes motor vehicles. In fact when he had to get off his bicycle I politely wound down the window and thanked the chap.

He was most abusive, hurling accusations that we had ruined the path (did no one tell him this isn't a path its a byway?) but as usual, he felt he was above such distinctions. Preumably couldn't tell the difference between a 4 x 4 and a tractor either. Ah well... perhaps he was riding his bicycle because he couldn't get a driving license.

By and large people were courteous, though disapproving or non responsive to our cries of "Good Morning" through the open windows. Can't imagine why...

Anyhow, tripped off down to Whitwell. Some really nice first timer lanes there, even found a lane that called itself a highway, (Don't tell the ramblers! they'll keel over nad have a little pissy fit party all of their own!).

All in all we had four hours of great fun, a terrific guide who is planning to explore Ashridge with us next weekend, a few points where I thought we would get stuck but no... the Shogun got through, and finished off with a trip through a ford wonderful.

An so we continue... I'll try to get some photos or something up in here and maybe a few maps of the lanes we visit.

C

Starting Out

Ok, so I thought I would keep a blog rather than a diary. I'm really not sure why, I mean I really don't expect that anyone will read it, and I 'm not big headed enough to think it's going to be of any real interest to anyone except me; except may be my children.

So let's start with a little backgrount info:

I'm 44 years old, in my third (and last) marriage with four children: a daughter of 14, sons of 8 and 5 and a daughter of just 18 months. I also have a daughter of 19 but she's generally got better things to do than hang around with Dad.

So... we had never even thought about having a 4 wheel drive. I mean they are really used by wealthy mothers taking the kids to school and ego ridden bully boys with necks that could pass for tree trunks right?

I, on the other hand, had a sensible people carrier (a galaxy) that served as main transport for our little brood, and allowed us to collect computer parts from our suppliers in Milton Keynes without too much fuss. That was what we were dooing on the fateful day... collecting a computer order from Milton Keynes. Hammering up the A5 at about 50mph, (a little under powered our motor!) the cam chain decided it had had enough of my feeble attempts at servicing and gave up the ghost. Immediate loss of power, swiftly followed by a lack of power assisted brakes and finally knackering the steering... not my idea of a good afternoon!

The day following our little problem, we decided that we just could not go without a car. Only it is never that easy! We have to have a 7 seater... (4 kids 2 adults). Consequently we called on a friend and got a cheuffeur to run us around all the second hand car lots in the area.

The best part of 3 hours later we found it! A 7 seater Shogun, the sales guy just dying to get it off the car lot (he was moving premises the following day). We whipped up the cash and bought it the following day.

Runs like a dream, looks quite cool and has 7 seats. Interior's a little on the "used" side but the reason we got it for a grand... a bloody great big scratch down one side. The last owner must have seriously pissed off some little fly boy in a metro with an over active ignition key!

It was only when my eight year old (Kai) got in the car that he started asking questions about the second gear shift. By the time I had finished explaing what 4 wheel drive is and why it's helpful when trying to negociate uneven or wet terrain, we both realised that we would have to try it out. I mean it would be silly not to right?

The only question is... Where?

Immediately we started looking around for places where the ground might be wet... and joy of joy it started raining. I don't mean a little bit... I mean this was real flash flood, hammering, all soaking stuff that any self respecting driver would fight to stay out of! True to form we jumped in the car and started hunting floods. The bigger the better... narrow lanes were the best, the rain had washed mud and twigs on to the road and then left puddles of almost lake like proportions. Just outside Dunstable, where we live, some of the lanes were impassable by normal vehicles. One lane was so flooded for a range of about a mile that we had to abandon it. What's the attraction you ask?

Watch the expression on a 5 year old boy and an 8 year old boy's face when you hit a puddle and the water obscures the windscreen for just a few seconds until the wipers clear the view again. It really is something to behold! But beware... when the rain stops its time to find the same thrill for them elsewhere. Now the only question is where.